ANGINA?? I'm 39, my Grandad had angina, it's an old blokes disease!

So I explain this strange chest pain to my GP, 'It's a rising burning pain that comes from the centre of my chest into my neck and jaw and then into my shoulders and upper arms. It lasts a few minutes and then goes away' He asked me what are you doing when it come on, 'It happened after a meal, I thought it was bad indigestion so I took a gaviscon, then it happened after climbing the stairs and hanging a bit of washing up'. 'Sounds like classic angina' he said! 'ANGINA?? I'm 39, my Grandad had angina, it's an old blokes disease!'.

I remembered back to when I was 16, straight out of school and went to work in the local pub kitchen. Lunchtimes were a row of older chaps sat round the bar, putting the world to rights (I learned so much from those guys, more than I ever did in school, such happy memories of them) but I'll never forget the odd GTN spray on the bar, right next to pint of beer and whiskey chaser. I spent the next few years going to far too many funerals, these men weren't healthy, they ate all the wrong things, were overweight, they drank and smoked... Then I looked at me and thought, SHIT! I'm just the same! A lot younger, yes, female, with other conditions, but I hadn't done myself any favours either.

I looked for excuses, I have had ME and Fibromyalgia for several years, unable to exercise, not that I did much before. Recently diagnosed with diabetes, nicely under control with medication now and I even managed to lose two stone with a diet overhaul, pretty good for someone who can't move much! I had suffered from bad depression on and off for most of my adult life and spent long periods cooped up with agoraphobia and self confidence was non existent, the gym was out of the question. But in between the bad spells I had always worked hard or studied, usually both. My diet wasn't horrendously bad, normal I would say, a little over weight at times, usually when I went on the contraceptive pill. I did like the odd binge in the beer department, but wasn't a constant drinker, not addicted... But I had smoked, for a lot of years, this was an addiction I never had control of. My problem was I had never had a smoking related illness, no chest infections or bad coughs, neither had any of my family who smoked, smoking wasn't hurting me. I chose to ignore the warnings on the packets, in the adverts and the leaflets, I was fine, I just wasn't scared enough to quit. Mistake? Hell yes!

My GP was ace, never put any pressure on me, I assured him I would give up. I told him I had cut down by two thirds for now till my head is in the right place to stop fully, he understood this, he said the stress of quitting could do me more harm the the few fags I'm still smoking at the moment. Some Doctors don't do this, tell them you haven't quite managed to stop yet and they give you that look like they want to strangle you with their bare hands. When I was diagnosed with diabetes I had to give up sugar, salt, fat, caffeine, sugary drinks, alcohol, eat more fruit and veg, smaller regular meals... I had no problem doing this (Though I do still have the occasional treat like a bit of chocolate or a bag of crisps... What??? I'm a woman!!) I found it remarkably easy, but smoking, damn it, that is the hard one. Someone once said that giving up smoking is as hard as giving up heroin, I'll never know if this is true, but as my best friend said to me yesterday "If I can do it so can you" Oh I don't know flower, you are so much stronger than me... In every way!

Tomorrow is the day I have chosen to start to stop. I have just bought myself one of those electric cigarettes... I will let you know how it goes!