RIP Karen Sherlock

Today is the day of Karen Sherlock's funeral. I didn't know this lady but I had seen many of her posts and comments in various groups on Facebook for quite some time. Kaliya Franklin wrote of her;

 "Karen Sherlock was just an ordinary woman. She didn’t have a great deal of money, her health meant she didn’t get many opportunities to go out, particularly not anywhere you might have seen her, and even if you did you wouldn’t have given her another thought. Just another woman in middle age as invisible as all women past a certain age become. 

But Karen had another life, one in which she was recognised for her courage and determination to stand up for the rights of all sick and disabled people subject to the Work Capability Assessment. You might not have noticed Karen, but had you paid attention you would have seen the story of an utterly remarkable woman, who’s experiences typify the disconnect between the reality of sick and disabled people’s lives and the blunt instrument employed by the state to rule if we are ‘fit for work'." 

I can't quite explain why her death has touched me so much, maybe it is because I see myself going in a similar fashion. I am yet to be murdered by Atos, I'm not on the 'French Mafia hit list' yet, but the fear I feel is all too real. From the stories I read, my illness(es) do not matter, my head could be hanging off by one last bit of stringy muscle and I'd still be found 'fit for work'... After all, my ear would be that much closer to my hand, answering a phone would be a doddle, a career in a call centre beckons me thinks!

Another thing I can't explain is why I have started a blog! I'm not really the type (whatever that is?) I don't crave attention or fame, I'm actually quite shy. I have been on Facebook a while and ventured on to Twitter on occasion, I'm not good with the spelling and grammar thing, didn't have the best education, not very confident and often find it hard to put my thoughts into words (why the hell am I doing this??) but I am about to start a bit of a journey, I think, could be good, could be bad, I don't know. I just thought writing it down might see me through it and hopefully keep me sane (it's a fine line!). I love to make people laugh, so as I go through this journey I'll always find a funny side, I hope you'll join me? After all, laughter is the best medicine!

I threw myself into the lions den yesterday. After getting the results from my two myocardial perfusion heart scans, which came back abnormal, I phoned the DWP to inform them of my new illness. Not that this will make any difference to them, I get the right amount of DLA (this was confirmed by an at home assessment by an Atos Doctor last September, after some utter git had falsely reported me for benefit fraud out of spite, and saw fit to put me through absolute hell!) and my care and mobility needs have not changed, this is just another illness to add to the long, long list of illnesses. But, these results mean that my angina has become unstable. To have angina at 40 years old is very rare, for it to become unstable is kind of scary. It means that the blood flow to my heart is restricted when resting and when active. While I am waiting the few weeks for the next step which is the angiogram/angioplasty the ultimate rule is 'NO STRESS' so maybe ringing the DWP was not a good idea but it had to be done. Like I said, I have not had my Atos grilling yet as I get income support, not incapacity benefit (they are just getting round to us now), and unstable angina is one of the few conditions which mean you are exempt from attending an interview. The fact that my other conditions leave me virtually house/bedbound and in constant, excruciating pain, slightly incontinent, confused, at great risk of injury from falling, with massive anxiety, and overwhelming fatigue, matters not! So, I asked them if we could do this in a way to cause me the least stress possible (hahaha) If the condition could just be added to my file without the stress of a lengthy form or another at home Atos Doctor, I was willing to send a report from my Cardiologist or GP to confirm the diagnosis, surely this would be better for me and cheaper for them... BUT NO! It seems there will have to be the drama of the forms and assessment, no doubt however I sent them in, recorded, registered, pigeon, they will be lost or denied. So here is the race, who will kill me first? The DWP? Atos? Or will my wonky heart beat them all to it?


I want to share my experience with you, help you where I can if you are going through a similar situation. People like Karen inspire me to do more. Just like her, I am frightened though will never sit here and feel sorry for myself... Let's make Karen proud.


RIP Karen Sherlock. Fly with the angels lovely lady x